Home Alone Part 3

INT. Church
Kevin goes into church and sits in the seat.

A CHORUS
Fall on your knees
O hear the angel voices
O night divine
O night
When Christ was born
O night
O holy night
O night divine
So let thy light
Of a star sweetly gleaming
Then came the wise men
From Orient lands
The King of Kings
Lay thus in lowly manger
Fall on your knees
O hear the angel voices

Kevin notices Marley, the old man in the church.
The old man stands up, and walks toward Kevin.

MARLEY
Merry Christmas. May I sit down?

He points at a girl.

MARLEY
That's my granddaughter. The little red-haired girl.
She's about your age. You know her?

KEVIN
No.

MARLEY
You live next to me, don't you? You can say hello when you see me.
You don't have to be afraid. There's things going around about
me, but none of it's true. Okay? You've been good this year?

KEVIN
I think so.

MARLEYYou swear to it?

KEVIN
No.

MARLEY
Yeah. Well, this is the place to be
if you're feeling bad about yourself.

KEVIN
It is?

MARLEY
I think so.

KEVIN
Are you feeling bad about yourself?

MARLEY
No.

KEVIN
I've been kind of a pain lately. I said some things I shouldn't have.
I really haven't been too good this year.

MARLEY
Yeah.

KEVIN
I'm kind of upset because I really like my family. Even though sometimes I say I don't.
Sometimes I even think I don't. Do you get that?

MARLEY
I think so. How you feel about family is a complicated thing.

KEVIN
Especially with an older brother.

MARLEY
Deep down, you'll always love him. But you can forget that you love him.
You can hurt them, they can hurt you. And that's not just
because you're young. You want to know the real
reason why I'm here?

KEVIN
Sure.

MARLEY
I came to hear my granddaughter sing. I can't come hear her tonight.

KEVIN
You have plans?

MARLEY
No. I'm not welcome.

KEVIN
At church?

MARLEY
You're always welcome at church. I'm not welcome with my son.
Years back, before you and your family moved on the block...
...I had an argument with my son.

KEVIN
How old is he?

MARLEY
He's grown up.
We lost our tempers, and I said I didn't care to see him anymore.
He said the same, and we haven't spoken to each other since.

KEVIN
If you miss him,
why don't you call him?

MARLEY
I'm afraid if I call, he won't talk to me.

KEVIN
How do you know?

MARLEY
I don't know. I'm just afraid he won't.

KEVIN
No offense, but aren't you a little old to be afraid?

MARLEY
You can be old for a lot of things.
You're never too old to be afraid.

KEVIN
That's true. I was afraid of our basement. It's dark. There's weird stuff
down there, and it smells funny. That sort of thing.
It's bothered me for years.

MARLEY
Basements are like that.

KEVIN
I made myself go down to do some laundry...and I found out it's not so bad.
I worried about it, but if you turn on the lights, it's no big deal.

MARLEY
What's your point?

KEVIN
My point is, you should call your son.

MARLEY
What if he won't talk to me?

KEVIN
At least you'll know. Then you could stop worrying about it.
You won't have to be afraid anymore.
No matter how mad I was, I'd talk to
Dad. Especially around the holidays.

MARLEY
I don't know.

KEVIN
Just give it a shot. For your granddaughter anyway.
I'm sure she misses you. And the presents.

MARLEY
I send her a check.

KEVIN
I wish my grandparents did that. They always send me clothes.
Last year I got a sweater with a bird knitted on it.

MARLEY
Oh, that's nice.

KEVIN
Not for a guy in the second grade. You can get beat up
for wearing something like that. I have a friend who got nailed...
...because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.

MARLEY
You better run home where you belong. Think about what I said.
All right?

KEVIN
Okay.

MARLEY
It's nice talking to you.

KEVIN
Nice talking to you. What about you?

MARLEY
Me?

KEVIN
Yeah. You and your son.

MARLEY
We'll see what happens.
MARLEY
Merry Christmas.

KEVIN
Merry Christmas.

Kevin leaves the church and goes to his home.

INT. KEVIN'S HOUSE
It is night time.

KEVIN
This is my house. I have to defend it.

Kevin makes a battle plan.And he sets many traps in his house.
He makes his dinner.

EXT. KEVIN'S HOUSE
Harry and Marv come to Kevin's house.

HARRY
We'll check it out. We can come back for the truck.

MARV
How do we go in?

HARRY
We'll go to the back door. Maybe he'll let us in.

MARV
Yeah, he's a kid. Kids are stupid.

INT. KEVIN'S HOUSE

Kevin is about to eat dinner.Kevin prays.

KEVIN
Bless this nutritious, microwaveable macaroni and cheese dinner...
...and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.

The clock shows it's nine o'clock.

KEVIN
This is it. Don't get scared now.

Harry and Marv come to Kevin's house and they are standing at the front door.

HARRY
Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you're in there,
and that you're all alone.

MARV
Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. It's Santy Claus and his elf.

Kevin points a pistol at Harry's leg.

HARRY
We won't hurt you.

MARV
No, no. Got some nice presents for you.

HARRY
Be a good little fella now and open the door.

Kevin shoots Harry in the crotch.  Harry screams.  Marv is surprised.

MARV
What? What happened?

HARRY
Get that little...

Marv puts his head into the pet door to look inside.  Kevin shoots him in the head.

KEVIN
Hello. Yes! Yes!

MARV
The little jerk is armed!

HARRY
That's it! I'm going in the front. You go down the basement!

Harry slides and falls over on stairs.
Marv does too.

HARRY AND MARV
Ow.

HARRY
That smart aleck!

Harry slides and falls over on the stairs.
Marv goes into the house from the back entrance.
An iron falss on Marv's head

HARRY
Oh, boy. That's it, you little... You little...
No, not this time, you little brat.
You little creep, where are you?

Harry's hand is burned by a doorknob.

HARRY
You little creep, where are you? Ahh, ahh.

KEVIN
Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!

HARRY
Rip his head off...! You're dead, kid.
Where are you, you little creep?!

MARV
Harry, I'm coming in!

KEVIN
Oh, no! I'm really scared.

INT. KEVIN'S HOUSE
They enter the house.

HARRY
It's too late for you, kid, we're in the house. We're gonna get you.

KEVIN
Okay, come and get me!

HARRY
Why, you...! Now you're dead!

MARV
I'm gonna kill that kid!

HARRY
Marv!

MARV
Harry?

HARRY
Why'd you take your shoes off?

MARV
Why are you dressed like a chicken?

Kevin yells down at them from the top of the staircase.

KEVIN
I'm up here, you morons.
Come and get me.

Harry and Marv run towards the staircase  but step on the miniature cars and
fall down onto the floor.

KEVIN
You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?

Harry gets up and steps on Marv as he rushes up the staircase.
Kevin swings a can attached to rope down at Harry.

HARRY
Heads up!

The can slams Marv in the head and knocks him back down the stairway.

HARRY
Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you.

Harry then turns around just in time to get hit in the head  with a second swinging
paint can.  This knocks Harry off the stairs and down on top of Marv.

HARRY
Ow!

KEVIN
Yes!

MARV
He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.

HARRY
Ah, shut up, will you?
What is it?

MARV
You're missing some teeth.

HARRY
Where? It's my gold tooth. My gold tooth. I'll kill him.
I'll kill him! You bomb me with one more can, kid...
...and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!

Kevin speaks into the phone with a muffled voice.

POLICE
911 emergency.

KEVIN(ON THE PHONE)
Hello, my house is being robbed.
My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name is Murphy.

KEVIN
You never know what's there.

MARV
There he is!

Marv gets Kevin.

MARV
I got you! I got him, Harry. I got him. Harry, give me a hand!
I got him! Harry, help me. Get up! I got him.

Kevin struggles to reach the spider, then picks it up and places it on Marv's nose.
Marv screams.  He throws it onto Harry's chest.  Then he picks up a crowbar.

HARRY
What are you doing?

MARV
Harry, don't move.

HARRY
Marv...

MARV
Don't move.

HARRY
What are you doing? Marv.

Marv swings at the spider and misses.  He hits Harry in the chest.

MARV
Did I get him? Did I get him?!
Where is it? Where is it?

HARRY
Never mind that. Here!
How do you like it, huh? You jerk!

Harry hits Marv with the crowbar.

HARRY
Get that kid, before I...Get that kid!

EXT. KEVIN'S HOUSE
Kevin slides across a rope to the treehouse.

KEVIN
Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!


Harry and Marv look through the window.

HARRY
Where'd he go?

MARV
Maybe he committed suicide.

KEVIN
Down here, you big horse's ass!
Come get me before I call the police.

MARV
Let's get him!

Marv turns to run down the stairs.

HARRY
Wait, wait. It's just what he wants us to do:
Go back through his fun house
so we get all tore up.

MARV
He's gonna call the cops!

HARRY
From a tree house?! Come on.

Harry and Marv grab the rope and make their way to the treehouse.
MARV
Out the window?
I'm not going out the window.

HARRY
Why, you scared? Are you afraid?
Come on, get out here.
Come on. Come on. Keep going.

MARV
Let's go back, Harry. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

HARRY
Shut it.

KEVIN
Hey, guys! Check this out.

Kevin cuts the rope.

HARRY
Go back. Go back.

MARV and HARRY crash into a wall.

Kevin goes downs on the ground. He runs away.

MARV
There he is!

Kevin
Hey, I'm calling the cops!

HARRY
Wait, wait! He wants us to follow him.
I got a better idea. Come on.

INT. MURPHY HOUSE
Kevin runs into the Murphy House, but Harry and Marv are waiting for him in the kitchen.
They grab him and hang him from a hook on a door.

HARRY
Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time.
Get over here!
 
MARV
What are you gonna do?

HARRY
I'll do exactly what he did to us.
Burn his head with a blowtorch.

MARV
I'll smash his face with an iron.

HARRY
I'd like to slap him
in the face with a paint can!

MARV
Shove a nail through his foot!

HARRY
I'm gonna bite off every one of
these little fingers, one at a time.

Marley comes from behind and hits the two men with a shovel.

MARLEY
Come on. Let's get you home.

EXT. MURPHY HOUSE
The police arrive, and arrest Harry and Marv.

POLICE OFFICER
Nice move, leaving the water running. Now we know each and every house
that you've hit. We've been looking for you guys for a long time.

MARV
Yeah. Well, remember, we're the "Wet Bandits. " Wet Bandits, that's W-E-T...

HARRY
Shut up! Get in the car!

HARRY
Hand off the head, pal!
POLICE OFFICER
Come on.

INT. VAN
Kevin's mom is talking to Polinsky.

KEVIN'S MOM
I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.

POLINSKY
No, you're not. You're beating yourself up there. This happens.
These things happen.You want to talk about bad parents?
Look at us. We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year.
We hardly see our families. Joe, over there.
Gosh, you know he forgets his kids' names half the time.
Ziggy over there, he's never even met his kid.
Eddy... Let's just hope none of them write a book about him.

KEVIN'S MOM
Tell me, have you gone on vacation and left your child home?

Polinski answers after a few seconds.

POLINSKI
No. But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once.
Yeah, it was terrible too. I was all distraught and everything.
The wife and I, we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor.
All day. You know, we went back at night,  when we came to our senses,
there he was. Apparently, he was there all day with a corpse.
Now, he was okay. You know, after six, seven weeks. He came around and
started talking again. They get over it. Kids are resilient like that.

KEVIN'S MOM
We shouldn't talk about this.

POLINSKI
I was just trying to cheer you up. You brought it up.


KEVIN'S MOM
I'm sorry I did.

INT.KEVIN'S HOUSE
 Kevin sleeps in a bed. Kevin gets up and watch snow scene.

KEVIN
Mom? Mom? Mom?

Kevin's mom comes home.

KEVIN'S MOM
Kevin! Kevin! Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.

KEVIN
Where's everybody else?

KEVIN'S MOM
Oh, baby, they couldn't come. They wanted to so much...


Everyone comes home.

BUZZ
I didn't fall asleep in the back and drool all over you, did I?

LINNIE
You do drool!

BUZZ
Shut up!

KEVIN'S DAD
Kevin! Kevin, my boy. How are you? It's good to see you.
You're all right. I love you. You okay?

KEVIN
Yeah.

BUZZ
Hey, Kev. It's cool that you didn't burn the place down.

KEVIN
Thanks, Buzz.

KEVIN'S MOM
Wait a minute. How'd you guys get home?

KEVIN'S DAD
On the morning flight you didn't want to wait for.

KEVIN'S MOM
Oh, no. Oh! Thank you.

KEVIN
Merry Christmas.

KEVIN'S MOM
Merry Christmas. Someone has to find an open store.

KEVIN
I went shopping yesterday.

LINNIE
You, shopping?

KEVIN
I got some milk, eggs and fabric softener.

KEVIN'S DADWhat?

KEVIN'S MOM
No kidding? What a funny guy. What else did you do
while we were away?

KEVIN
Just hung around.

KEVIN'S MOM
Bring your stuff upstairs.

BUZZ
Shopping? He doesn't know how to tie his shoe. He's going shopping?

Kevin's dad discovers Harry's gold tooth.

KEVIN'S DAD
Honey, what's this?

BUZZ
Kevin! What did you do to my room?

Questions

1.  What advice does Kevin give Old Man Marley?
2.  What happens to Marv and Harry when they try to enter Kevin's house?
3.  What happens to Marv and Harry in the end?